Words and their use determine an organization's attitude. The company's approach to people and their communication styles, either positive or negative, establishes the norm and the overall environment. A positive outlook encourages cooperation, respect and understanding between people and groups. A negative environment occurs when people's styles clash and there is conflict between people and departments.

• Picture your last staff meeting. Mentally observe the people sitting around the conference table. How many were concentrating on the speaker? How many were reading their notes? How many were doodling or otherwise thinking about something other than the matter at hand?
  
  
• Think about the last time there was an interdepartmental meeting. Was there a spirit of "everyone is in this together" or did signs of territory protection arise?
  
  
• Consider how individuals in the organization interact. Do they demonstrate an interest in and respect for each other, or do they resist dealing with people who act or speak or act differently than they do?
  
  

  In short, is your organization at war or peace with itself? If it is at war, why would you want to act as the peace negotiator? Here are some reasons:

  1. You complete projects quickly because everyone is working toward a common goal.
     
     
  2. You and your co-workers achieve a high level of personal satisfaction.
     
     
  3. Positive achievements build on themselves, negative wins must be constantly defended
     from future attacks so you save time and energy.
     
     
  4. The workplace is more attractive so there is less stress every time you walk through
     the door.
     
     

  If your department or organization is at war how do you reach a peace accord? Consider some of the following steps:

  1. Observe the group as a whole to determine the source of gossip or rumor
     
     
  2. Evaluate how negative communication is currently being rewarded
     
     
  3. Find an area of easy agreement between people or groups
     
     
  4. Encourage a truce or peace agreement on that subject with that group
     
     
  5. Reward the positive outcomes of the agreement
     
     
  6. Eliminate or severely reduce the negative communication reward system
     
     
  7. After the new behavior is established, find the next area for agreement
     
     
  8. Repeat steps 4, 5 and 6
     
     
  9. Continue the process until a totally new behavior pattern is established
     
     

  Change from war to peace is not easy. It requires a total commitment and willingness to alter behavior patterns at every organizational level. It can be done. The rewards are significant in terms of morale, productivity and personal satisfaction.

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  Communicate with Style
  
  Rochelle Devereaux
  Business Efficacy
  copyright © 1999
  

  Have trouble getting others to hear you? Find it difficult to hear others? Your listening style may be getting in the way.

  Communication requires a focused, two way connection. A speaker sends an idea or thought, and a listener grasps the speaker's words, emotion and intent. This link between people is what we need to give and get total messages.

  A disconnection occurs when something distracts or sidetracks the listener from the conversation. Distractions include physical items such as the papers on your desk, or noises, such as telephones ringing or radios playing. Sidetrackers are those thoughts or actions triggered by the speaker's words or action. However, even if you totally concentrate on the speaker, there are other reasons we can't hear or be heard. The most common is an incompatible communication style.

  What's Your Listening Style?
  
  Each person develops a unique listening style. The two primary style components are orientation and pace. Effective conversation requires us to use them appropriately, based on our purpose and circumstances.

  Orientation Factors
  
  How inclined are you to listen to others? Do you expect everyone to listen to you, no matter their situation or circumstances? Some people naturally listen, rather than speak. Others like to talk, not listen. This works if you have one of each in a conversation. Problems arise if you have a speaker who is supposed to be the listener, or if the listening inclined person must speak.

  The listening trigger is a second orientation factor. We learn to "tune in" to different things, depending on circumstances. Some people allow voices to flow over them until they hear a word or name that signals something interesting to them. Others will focus on a speaker the minute they walk over and start talking. How long they stay focused, and how they focus depends on their situation and training. Orientation is a combination of how and why we listen. Identify your own and compare it to others in order to make real connections.

  Background Listening is passive. We allow sounds and words to flow by without direct awareness.

  Empathetic Listening is also passive. We concentrate on emotion, emphasizing the speaker's feelings more than data content.

  Content Listening tends to be active. It's purpose is information gathering, but without regard for emotion or non-specific messages.

  Controlled Listening, depending on the circumstances, is either passive or active. The prospective listener restricts the speaker's time to fit his or her schedule. It becomes active only when time permits discussion.

  Power Listening is active. It involves making dynamic connections with others to receive a total message.

  Background and Empathetic listening represent social listening styles. The next three frequently occur in work environments. However, you can use them all in any setting. It depends on what is appropriate within a situation.

  Pace
  
  Another factor affecting connections is pace. Our pace represents how fast or slow we speak. Circumstances may influence it, but more often, pacing is a habit formed over the years.

  One way to think about different paces is to consider the Hare and the Turtle. Hares do everything, including speaking, quickly. They're always racing. Turtles act and speak deliberately, weighing their words and actions carefully. Hares and turtles have a difficult time communicating because their styles conflict. If you are a hare and need to talk to a turtle, prepare in yourself in advance. Slow your naturally fast pace. Allow the turtle time to absorb your words and respond. The biggest problem here is that hares want to move the conversation along and jump in before the turtle gets a chance to fully respond.

  Turtles also need to prepare to speak to hares. They must think through their ideas before the conversation starts so they can make their point succinctly and quickly. Recognize that the hare will respond quickly, which does not mean they have not thought about their response.

  Each of us has preconceived ideas about what is or is not a proper communication style. We want everyone to talk or listen exactly like we do. But, that does not happen in real life. Everyone has a different style. If our goal is to make connections with others, we have to not only recognize that, we have to actively embrace the differences.

  Using the Styles to Make Connections
  
  Each style requires a different approach. If you know the listeners' focus, you can use it to make sure they tune into what you have to say.

  Background Listeners: These people are allowing sounds to flow over them. You have to get them to focus on what you have to say. Until you do, there is no connection and no real listening occurs. Find a trigger word or phrase that will get their attention so a conversation can occur.

  Empathetic Listeners want to hear feelings and emotions. They put themselves into the speaker's shoes to better relate to them. So, give them something to trigger their interest. If you need to give data to someone who is more comfortable with emotion than fact, find a way to introduce your feelings about the situation. Start with the feeling and move toward the content.

  Content Listeners do not care about how you feel or if you're having a good or bad day. They simply want facts. So skip the socializing and get down to basics. If this goes against the grain, remind yourself that the objective is to make a connection. That is the only part they will hear, so do not give them reasons to tune you out.

  Controlled Listeners are under the time gun. They only allot a specific amount of time. So, get to the point as quickly as possible. Grab their attention immediately. Then, you may have more time to elaborate, or they may give you more time later. If your time ends before you make your point, you probably will not get a second chance.

  Power Listeners are interested in hearing your message. They will work with you to ensure they make a connection. Sometimes this creates problems if all you want to do is give a person some information without response. Prepare for an exchange when you speak to a Power Listener.

  You have to make connections with others. There are many ways to do that. You can attempt to get others to recognize your style and try to use it. You cannot make them change their own. So, since you can control your own reactions and behavior, do what you must to make things work.

  Rochelle Devereraux provides training to organization in effective communication. For more information, contact her at Business Efficacy, PO Box 4081, Salem, OR 97302-1081, 503/581- 4100 or e-mail: rochelle@businessmasters.com. You may visit her web site: www.businessmasters.com for more information on her services.

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  Communicate, Don't Manage
  
  Business owners and managers work hard to ensure their company's survival. They devise mission statements, management plans, strategic plans and alliances, financial plans... the list goes on. What happens next? That depends. See if you agree or disagree with the following statements about your company:
  • Everyone participates in developing the company's mission and plans to implement it.
  • Employees are encouraged to make suggestions for better service, improved products, etc. to management/leadership.
  • Supervisors/managers/leaders show respect for all employees by explaining any changes and getting their ideas on implementing them.
  • Morale and enthusiasm are high in the company.
  If you strongly agree, you have a communicating company. If you strongly disagree, you have a managing company. If you somewhat agree or disagree, you have a combination of communication and management. You need to identify where and why information restrictions occur.
  
  Over management can lead to communications blockages. Information is meted out sparingly. Employees may not know if their efforts are important, or how they fit into the company's plans. Productivity and morale often suffer.
  
  Strong, innovative company leaders communicate effectively with their employees. They listen and create dialogues with everyone in the organization. Through these efforts, everyone shares in the company's vision and purpose. Productivity and morale are enhanced and encouraged.
  
  Not all information can be shared. But, if everyone contributes or is included in the company's overall planning, they understand why and it may have little impact on productivity and morale.
  
  Check your company's internal systems. Look for ways to increase information flow. Communicate, don't manage.
  
  

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  Communications Takes Clarity
  
  "Downsize", "productivity", "vision", "getting the job done". What do all these have in common? Potential miscommunication. You avoid this problem when you speak or write clearly and concisely.
  
  Clarity is the key to making things clear; removing confusion. It is also subject to interpretation.
  
  Business and personal communications require precision. That is easier said than done. Each person brings their own set of expectations, experiences and personal agendas to every conversation. If they don't match those of the other participants, miscommunication occurs. How then, do you overcome the obstacles to clarity?
  • Identify your biases: "know thyself" is still the best tool. If you know the things that interfere with your ability to hear and understand others, you can offset them.
  • Listen to others: really hear speakers, concentrate on what they are saying to you before you start thinking about what you think they mean.
  • Just ask: if something doesn't make sense, or you have any doubts about a point, ask the speaker to rephrase the statement. If you don't, they probably think you understand.
  • Restate what you heard: give the speaker the opportunity to explain any discrepancies in what you think you heard and what they meant to say.
  One of the strongest myths today is that listening is a natural activity. Effective listening is a learned skill. Our listening style becomes a habit, which like all habits, can be either productive or ineffective. We start developing our listening habits as children. We watch the people around us, and mimic their behavior. Some examples are better than others. Certain techniques work well at one point of our lives, but become dangerous to use later on.
  
  Effective listeners constantly seek out new tools and practice with them. Using the clarity techniques listed here will give you the edge you need to be an effective and successful communicator.
  
  

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  Dare to Communicate - You Might Like the Results
  
  Do you find that "labor saving" and "time saving" devices tend to do the opposite? That those wonderful technological devices to increase our communications with others have done the reverse?
  
  A wonderful comment in a 1960's intrigue novel is appropriate here. "We have to rely on our wits, not on fancy gadgets. That makes us sharper than the opposition, and could save our lives." (Well, it's not an exact quote, but that was the gist).
  
  It's true. The more you rely on gadgets and gizmos, the less you tend to focus on your objective. Is it to communicate with customers, vendors, co-workers, etc.? Then seriously consider the most appropriate means to make your connections.
  
  Communicate, a verb, means to impart; participate. Communication, a noun, defines a process of transmission. So, in its active sense, there is a sharing of information, thoughts or feelings. In its passive or object mode, it is simply sending information, thoughts or feelings with no absolute connection.
  
  Gadgets such as voice mail, e-mail, fax machines, pagers, etc. are communication devices. They allow a lot of transmission. There is no sharing or participation until another person connects to it. They create a barrier between the person sending the message and the person receiving it. In order to fully communicate a message, it has to be received, interpreted and acted on by a person.
  
  So, as you work with these wonderful time and labor saving devices, consider your objective. If it is to impart information, create a sharing of ideas or solve problems, how many barriers can you effectively have between you and the other party? How important is it to fully communicate? Is your need to convey information active or passive?
  
  Active transmissions require direct contact between the sender and receiver. Passive communications can, and often do, have buffers or barriers of some sort between the two or more parties.
  
  If, as some philosophers and linguists believe, we are a product of our thoughts, the sloppier our thinking about what we intend to do, the sloppier our results. Use the following checklist when you get ready to send out information. It could mean the difference between communicating or creating communications.
  
  Communicate or Have Communication?
  1. What am I trying to say?
  2. Who needs to know about it?
  3. Do they need to act on the information immediately?
  4. Do I need to get a response to the information right away?
  5. Does the recipient need time to think about and react to the information before responding?
  6. Does the information involve new concepts or technology?
  7. Can the information be misunderstood or misinterpreted?
  Answer these questions to clarify the best delivery method for your information. For example, for an immediate response, use direct contact. If, however, they need to gather information in order to answer you, or they need time to think about what's going on, send the information with a respond-by deadline. If you make direct contact in this instance, they may feel pressured to provide an immediate answer and defeat your purpose.
  
  Active or passive; with or without technology; there is no one best approach for all situations. One size does not fit all. I think you get the message.
  
  

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  What's Wrong with Those People?

  A guide to "others"

  
  
  

  The workplace is no longer what it used to be. People are not alike. They don’t think, act or communicate the same anymore. The consequences are confusion, conflict and dissatisfaction.

  What’s a poor manager, supervisor, leader, or anyone else for that matter, to do?

  The question, What’s wrong with those people, sums up a lot of the problem. Those people are us. People tend to want the world to look and act like they do. It’s a natural attitude. But, it’s also the cause of a lot of workplace (and home) conflicts. So, how do you counteract this attitude?

  Step One: Identify the Problem

  Look at yourself before you worry about others. Is it your attitude or behavior that’s causing some of the problem? If not, observe the interaction between individuals and groups. Look to see if the problem come from:

• lack of respect for others?
• lack of training in interpersonal skills?
• communication style differences?
• age/generational issues?
• cultural differences?

   

  Step Two: Address the Problem

  If no one raises the issue that there is a problem there can be no solution. Since this is a situation that affects the entire work group, it’s helpful to get them all involved in identifying the issues and working together to reach solutions.

  Step Three: Identify and Obtain Necessary Assistance

  If an attitude of "them versus us" exists, it may well require outside assistance to get the skills necessary to change it. Sometimes it’s only a matter of an objective outsider facilitating a series of meetings. Other times, it requires both facilitation and training in new communication styles. It varies with each group and their level of conflict and commitment.

  Step Four: Establish the New Attitude/Behavior as the Standard for Everyone

  Once you’ve worked out the issues to resolve your problems/conflicts between people, incorporate them into your workplace standards. Include it in performance reviews. Make it part of every meeting.

  We live in a rapidly changing world with technology that tends to separate us from others. We have a greater number of generations working together than at any time in history. We have a multitude of cultures, attitudes and backgrounds that must somehow blend harmoniously in the workplace. Bringing it all together to create a single work identity is one of the greatest leadership challenges for the coming decade. Are you ready for the challenge?

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  Harmony from Discord

  Get individual notes to work together

  
  
  

  Musical harmony occurs when a variety of notes blend to create a chord. This new arrangement produces a sound greater than any individual note can generate. If one note is just a shade too sharp or flat, the entire chord jars and creates disharmony.

  Workplace harmony is much like its musical equivalent. It only occurs when each individual's efforts mesh with the group as a whole. How do you take a group (two or more) of people who have different backgrounds, needs and wants and get them to create a harmonic chord? Use direction, communication techniques, practice and review.

  Every work area has a leader. This person's behavior sets the tone for everyone who works around them. A key element in any harmony is the ability to listen and interpret what you hear without prejudice. Leaders who demonstrate and practice this listening style more likely create positive, worker-friendly, environments. What can you do to ensure that your workplace is harmonious? Personally understand and show respect for each individual.

  Observe how each person interacts with others. Do some employees rush through conversations while others appear to drag them out? Are there people who respond only to facts while others seem to personalize all conversations? Each person uses a particular style in their interactions. Harmony occurs when styles mesh and complement each other. Disharmony arises when the styles clash.

  Respecting each style is critical to bringing them together. If workers perceive the leader as favoring one style over another, they will lean in that direction. Which means that anyone who does not use that mode may discover that they're getting less respect and regard for what they have to say. Effective leaders acknowledge the strengths of all communication styles and encourage others to learn them.

  Imagine that you have a major deadline. One team member insists on covering every possible variation on their information. The initial temptation is to simply say "hurry up and get to the point." A more effective way is to acknowledge their style and ask for their cooperation. This might mean saying something like "I'd really like to hear what you have to say about . . . but we have a critical deadline. Would you summarize the key points now, and we can cover the other material after we've dealt with this?" This response brings you to the point you need, the vital information, without cutting down the person. It shows a way that other workers can deal with this type of situation without disrespect for a co-worker. Make sure, however, that you do take the time to hear them out after the crisis ends.

  If you hear members of your work group talking about another in a sarcastic or uncomplimentary way, stop the discussion. Your job is to create harmony. Allowing this type of talk to continue, means you sanction it and are willing to accept discord in your area. Ask questions about why they're talking that way. Ask them to consider different approaches to working better with that co-worker. If they can't come up with solutions on their own it may mean that you need to coach them in different communication techniques.

  Consistently producing and maintaining harmony in musical presentation or in the workplace requires constant practice and focus. Even the best musicians have to rehearse to maintain and improve their performance. When they do, the result is pleasing and exhilarating. The workplace can be harmonious but it requires constant practice and diligence to maintain. The results are well worth the effort in greater productivity and morale.

  Like some help in improving your workplace's harmony? Contact Rochelle Devereaux, Business Efficacy about presenting a communication training program to your organization.

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  Breaking the "No" Barrier
  
  Rochelle Devereaux
  Business Efficacy
  copyright © 1999
  

  Ready to move forward, only to have everyone else that needs to help tell you "no?"

  Consistently getting suggestions from associates and employees that trigger the dreaded "no" from you? It's time to find out why.

  Change is Scary

  People generally fear change. Suggestions for new approaches to work, or directions for the company, require personal and organizational adjustments. Just because the change advisor knows why things need alteration, others may not. Do you or others around you silently consider alternatives and then, without any warning, ask others to implement them? If so, the most likely result is a vocal NO or quiet resistance. It's the organizational equivalent of someone popping up and yelling BOO! in a darkened room.

  Make Change Comfortable

  Do you like to fight? Is resistance a stimulant? No? Then before you threaten people with ideas, make the idea of change easier to take. What's that? You've tried that and it didn't work? Here are some suggestions that might ease the way.

  When you think changes are necessary, identify who will be affected by them.

  Bring those people into the planning process by:

• telling them what you think might be needed

• get their reactions to your ideas

• have them help develop the solution

• let them introduce the ideas to others in their immediate work area

  Set a timeline for carrying out the changes

• establish incremental steps

• evaluate activities at each stage

• what may be interfering with the timelines

  Create systems that allow people to comment on progress, pro or con

  In short, get the appropriate people involved from the very beginning, not at the end. You'll find they are more likely to accept change when they have some say or see that their resistance is going to negatively affect everyone around them.

  This does not mean that everyone will embrace change, or that they won't be uncomfortable. But, a sudden shift will not shock them.

  Communication and Involvement are the Essential

  Notice that each part of the process outlined above involves communicating with people. It is not dictating to them. It is getting them involved. Outline your thoughts and let them offer theirs to you. Keep an open mind. Have them do the same. It might take a little longer, but the results are worth the wait.

  It's Your Choice

  You're in charge. You choose how to go on. You set the organization's tone. If you resist new ideas, after a while you won't get any. The creative people will look for appreciation for their ideas somewhere else. If your employees resist change, you need to be open to why and prepared to help them overcome those specific objections. If they cannot, you might need to replace them with people who will.

  The biggest choice you have to make is: will I or won't I communicate completely with those people who must carry out any change? Will I be open to new ideas? Can I get others to be open as well?

  Assess the way you present change to others. Look at how you respond to suggestions. Be honest and keep an open mind. When change is necessary to your company's success, these actions can quickly pay dividends.

  If you need help in assessing the change process in your organization, contact Rochelle Devereaux, Business Efficacy, 503-581-4100; e-mail rochelle@businessmasters.com for a free initial consultation.

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  Who's Bright Idea Was That?
  
  Rochelle Devereaux
  Business Efficacy
  copyright © 2001
  

  My first exposure to “bright ideas” by managers came at an early age. Viewing it from the bottom up gave the exposure an interesting perspective. Here are three examples from the early annuals of management. 

  Example # One 

  Thomas Watkins of IBM first established an open door policy for employees. Theoretically, any employee could walk in a talk with him or any other executive or manager in the company. 

  The “bright idea”: employees at all levels must feel comfortable bringing ideas or concerns to management without feeling the office door is a barrier. 

  Example # Two 

  A field services supervisor was so good, he was promoted to division head which meant he was now manager of all his previous peers. However, the company’s decisions to promote not just from within, but in the same office, created major problems for him. He was not comfortable suddenly “bossing” his former peers. He asked for, and was given, a demotion back to his former position. 

  Just because someone is promoted into a management position, doesn’t mean they belong there, will feel comfortable there and should be punished because they tried and didn’t like it. The “bright idea” here is that, if someone is unable to make the transition from outstanding employee or supervisor to manager, they should be able to go back to the organization level where they can excel. 

  Example # Three 

  An executive who had created his own highly successful business hired a secretary who, after working with her for a while, drove him crazy. Her working style was totally incompatible with his. Rather than dealing with the situation directly because, after all it was his own fault for hiring her, he chose to pretend she didn’t exist. His solution was to arrive with dictation before she did and lock himself into his office. He waited until she left for lunch and came out to get lunch himself and then, locked himself in his office again until after she left. 

  The “bright idea”: if you can’t work with someone, work around them. 

  Example # One is still a “bright idea” today. Company size doesn’t matter. There are as many small companies whose management is unavailable as there are large ones that shut out employees. There are also a lot of small companies that practice this technique until they start growing and management becomes “too busy” to be available to employees. Keeping the door open to all company employees has its problems, but the rewards for a well-thought out policy and consistent implementation of it, goes a long way to keeping quality people and fostering innovation among them. 

  Example # Two is really three issues in one. The first is the promotion of highly competent people to positions in which they can only fail. The second is moving people into positions of authority over those they consider friends. The third is that, once a mistake is acknowledged, you can go back and fix it. 

  Years ago I met a person who was recently promoted to sales manager. He loved to sell. He was successful at it. He hated detail work and sitting in the office all day. In short, he was extremely successful at what he had been doing but nobody asked him if he wanted the increased responsibilities and was prepared to switch to management. The company set him up for failure and it was working. This is also true of the field service manager who excelled at being a representative in the field, really enjoyed his co-workers and suddenly found himself responsible for their performance. He wasn’t comfortable disciplining them, and he really missed the “hands-on” work. He couldn’t win in either situation. The sales manager had to make a choice. He could either learn how to manage a sales department successfully or find another sales job elsewhere. The company made no provision for demotion. The field service manager worked for a company that listened to its employees. They didn’t want to lose him and had bet on his being able to make the upward move without going to another branch. When it didn’t work out, they recognized his continuing contribution to the company and let him move back to his old position. Both the company and the field services representative won. 

  Example # Three is a prime example of how important “fit” is in the hiring process. The executive looked only at skills and suffered the consequences of hiring the “most qualified” without considering the “best fit with the qualifications.” The result was misery for both him and his assistant. It was compounded by his unwillingness to act on his mistake. 

  There are so many potential examples of “bright ideas” that can promote either success or failure for individuals, departments and companies that sorting through them becomes difficult. I’m sure you can think of at least one or two examples from your own work history. 

  My “Bright Idea” that I want to share with you is this: while organizations differ in size, personality and mission, all need to constantly look for flexible, effective “bright ideas” that contribute to a win-win situation for everyone. It may take some thought. It may cost a few dollars to implement. But, in the long run, it becomes the best way to develop and maintain a healthy, productive workplace. If you have questions, or would like to explore “bright ideas” for your company, contact Rochelle Devereaux, Business Efficacy, 503 581-4100; e-mail: rochelle@businessmasters.com.

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  I Don't Want to be Negative, But..
  
  Rochelle Devereaux
  Business Efficacy
  copyright © 2001
  

  Sound familiar? Ready or not, it’s negative comment time. This person just said they have every intention of being negative. If you or the group are looking for potential problems with a new idea, concept or system, that could be what you need. On the other hand, if you’re all seeking solutions, answers or ideas, it is not okay. It helps to know the person. If their sole purpose in life is to destroy harmony, you need to be prepared to counter them. What can you do? 

  ☻ If you’re in charge of the situation, you can thank them and move on. 

  ☻ If you’re in a conversation, you can thank them and move on. 

  ☻ If you cannot avoid the remarks, you listen carefully, counter with a positive comment or ask for a positive result. 

  ☻ If you’re part of a group, wait and let the leader respond. If necessary, get recognized and turn it into an opportunity for a positive result. 

  Avoid, if possible, embarrassing or insulting the person. The first two suggestions, if not handled properly, might appear to do just that. It’s a matter of how you do it. For example, the words are spoken and you jump into the pause with, “Thanks for keeping things positive. You know how important that is for (me, the group, the company, etc.).” and then you pause. Watch the person closely. What’s their reaction? Can they shift gears quickly or do they seem to need more time? If they don’t react right away, say something like, “let’s move on and we can come back to this later.” This allows them time to recover and come up with different remarks without cutting them down completely. If they do respond, and it comes out a negative, go to the third suggestion. 

  THEM: “This whole process is a waste of time. We’ve tried it before and it never worked. Why bother now?” 

  YOU: “I know we’ve tried similar processes before. We can learn from past problems and make this work if we put our minds to it. (Either offer suggestions for differences or ask them - what do you think we can do differently this time to make it work?)” 

  Alternative Scenario 

  THEM: “This whole process is a waste of time. We’ve tried it before and it never worked. Why bother now? 

  YOU: “You’re absolutely right. It didn’t work the last time someone tried it. But, there’s new information we didn’t have before. We need to figure out why it failed the last time because the top brass wants to see the change. So, let’s put our heads together and find a solution that can work.” 

  Keep in mind no one else can control how you think or react. If you know that someone tends to the negative, be prepared to at least mentally counter with positive thoughts and actions. Eventually, when the person realizes that they can’t bring you around, they’ll either stop presenting negative ideas or find someone else they can get into the “ain’t it awful” club.

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